After Bar Food

Being in a band, I've found that there are certain foods that rock after bar time. Taco Bell is number one hands down. We used to play at a place called the "Doctor's Office". Taco Bell is right across the street. It was funny because by the time we'd be done playing, only the drive thru would be open. We would have to get in the car, drive 1/2 a block and go through the drive thru.

There are certain other fall backs if there is not a Taco Bell available and it's 1:30 in the morning.

Once, after a gig in Kenosha, we ended up stopping at a Kwik Trip gas station after getting turned around and heading the wrong way out of town. They had the most glorious selection of gorf (an old school term for junk/drunk food) I'd seen in awhile. They had Tornadoes. These are like a Corn tortilla cylinder with various fillings. I had a spicy chicken thing and a steak something-or-other. I also got a chili-cheese dog that was not a Tornado but it was wrapped in a tortilla-type thing.
Food of the 1:30 a.m. Gods I tell ya.
Another favorite of mine is the White Castle Slider. These are available at Aldi's and at Pick 'N' Save. They rock!

Hot Pockets aren't too bad either when I'm not out, and don't want to/can't drive the extra 10 blocks to the Taco Bell.

So. There it is. Time wasted on mindless shit. Lame as hell. Feel free to throw some other favorite after-bar foods at me. Figuratively speaking of course.

Drunk 911

Only in Wisconsin will you find citizens honest enough to report themselves for drunken driving.


If that is not bad enough, it turns out she entered a "Not Guilty" plea on the charge of first offense drunk driving according to the Wausau Daily Herald.

So how clueless can a person get?

What The Fuck Is Wrong With Me?

This is a re-post from my Myspace blog from around 2007.

My brain scares the hell out of me sometimes.

I'm just minding my own business. Working. And the words "deck the halls with skulls of virgins" pops into my head.

I think, "Wow. That's pretty fucked-up Nate." "Where the hell did that come from?"

Okay, obviously it has something to do with Christmas. But come on, skulls of virgins???? So then, my thoughts drift toward medieval torture. Then I start thinking of things that would make the writers of the "Saw" movies go, "Dude. That's pretty sick."

I cannot publicly write some of the shit that my mind produces. Don't get me wrong, I behave like a mostly normal person. I don't do any sick shit and I don't condone anything like that. But fuck...why don't nice things pop into my mind? Well, okay, I'm male so every 7 minutes I'm thinking about sex. You get the picture though.

Is this a result of growing up watching slasher flicks and reading horror novels? Is this tendency toward the dark side of life inherent in my personality? Do I have to use italics like this all the time?

Maybe I should start going to church or something.



Whatever...just remember, Zip carfully. And Just Say NO!

Cold Call Sales

Me-"Hello, this is Nate"

Caller-"Hi, this is Richard Smoker. You can call me Big Dick. I'm with Hosemee Genital Cleaners. We offer a full line of genital cleaning services. Would you have time for me to come over and discuss our service line.

If you have time, I can also demonstrate our patented Truetongue scrotum sanitizer. I guarantee your scrotum has never felt Trutongue fresh.

So, can we set up a day and time to meet?"

Me-"Uh, No. I think I'll pass shithead. I have enough to do without dealing with your sorry ass."

This was an actual conversation I had with a cold-call salesman.

Okay, the name of the caller and the company were changed....

Okay, I made the whole thing up. But only to illustrate the low regard I have for slimeball, cold-calling bitch salespeople.

And, because I think it would actually be kind of cool if there was a genital cleaning service.

Anyway, in my position as "Maintenance Manager" I have somehow become the magnet for these dilldos to call me out of the blue while I'm in the middle of important shit...Like blogging.

With the economy in the shitter, there is more and more pressure on the sales douches to drum up more business. Therefore, I get to endure more and more of these annoying calls. I get them from existing vendors as well as new people whose services I do not want or need.

Pfft.